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Everyone has stopped reading my diary�I�m crushed on the rocks of despair. They are great jagged rocks, and today, I would guess they are snowy and barren as well. Well, barren of all but my crush-ed-ness.

Ah, barren. I was just trying to remember why I was thinking of barren-ness the other day. It was Christmas Season awkward-ness for Jews [or at least for me, a Jew]. At least once a year I have a conversation in which I feel that the other person doesn�t quite grasp what not being Christian might mean [or what it doesn�t mean]. In this case, said individual, who knows I am Jewish, asked me if I�ll be going away for the holidays and I replied that I never go away at that time. She said that in her view �it�s all what�s in your heart, anyway.� I replied innocuously enough but I felt tempted to say: �Nothing! I have nothing in my heart! I�m Jewish and nothing about this �holiday season� fills my heart with joy! My heart is empty�it�s BARREN! There is no-nothing there!� I decided that equating my religion with barrenness was misleading and inaccurate, but I do find it galling that somehow the placement of Chanukah or some misplaced desire for inclusion makes people want to include me in their Christmas joy. I admit, though, that living in Brooklyn is a lot easier than living most other placed would be�I only have these conversations once a year, where other places I might have them daily between Thanksgiving and New Year.

In other, unrelated news, I have traveled further down a slippery slope to addiction and droid-dom and I�m enjoying every moment. I grew up in a household in which TV-watching was strictly rationed. I watched an hour daily AT MOST and read a great deal more. As an adult, first I got basic cable, and then cable with HBO and then a DVR. On Thursday, when I called Time Warner with a DVR question, I was told that for 27 cents more per month I could get EVEN MORE CRACK-TV. Now I have Encore, STARZ and Showtime as well as 2 on demand channels [HBO and SHO] that I can watch any time. Tonight I�ll be DVR-ing 8 Mile, and Far From Heaven. Earlier today, I �in-demanded� El Mariachi, which I liked a lot. I feel decadent and thrilled and like I will never ever leave the house again. Or at least not until Spring. TV is a beautiful thing.

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